trigger warning: reference to assault
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it was a very challenging time
and one of great healing and purification
a critical questions arose: would i reconnect with my assailant in pursuit of restorative justice?
would he be truly ready to take accountability?
would i have the capacity?
was it even my role to initiate such an endeavour?
i played with this questions and curiosity
held in sacred container by a beloved playmate and wise elder
and my body wisdom spoke so clearly
“protect your joy”
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my desire to right relationships
to pursue fuller forgiveness & reconciliation
almost over-rode a primal necessity
to protect my nervous system
of risk of re-traumatization & further harm
it was too much in that precious window of new footing and joy
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i sat at my alter that night
and as i lit the candle
sitting before the hand-carved wooden window
lovingly crafted in syria
that came to find me in damascus years ago
before the bombs feel and sent generations fleeing
adorned with roses
picked with adoration
next to the salty waters of this mi’kma’ki land
buds in early summer
strung with devotion
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the light shone
through the carved cracks of loving craft
and there it appeared
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a being
a guide?
benevolent support?
…an oracle
it came so clearly.
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it’s energy so palpable and strong
there to offer support
an ally
in protecting this joy
generous guidance
right here at my alter
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at some point in the last months
i forgot that this guardian of joy & guidance
is always still here
waiting to be called upon
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calling on the helpers
the unseen ones
for guidance, wisdom & protect
maybe this is one of the tools
to mitigate the potential for emerging trauma?
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i believe this guardian came as a support in this way
somewhere along the way
i forgot to call on my benevolent oracle
perhaps a return to this magic
could support the resuscitation of joy
in this harder season of life
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what unseen allies support you on your journey of healing and sustained well-being?
