Disciplines:
Defining terms is such a useful exercise! It's so easy to take for granted that we have the same understanding, although in this case I think we actually do have a lot of overlap.
When I speak of responsibility, I'm thinking of it as what I must do to honour my ancestors and myself. It's my portion of the work in mutually sovereign relationships, and it excludes toxic control over others. This form of responsibility is internally motivated, and inherently aligns with holding sacred the value of life and access-for-all to the necessities of life. This form of responsibility is a path to joy, recognising that sometimes joy must be cultivated through dedicated and challenging work in deleterious conditions. There may be no punishment with not meeting these responsibilities, but there are consequences.
Whereas I see responsibility in coloniser systems as work for money, pay for necessities, keep your head down, no questions, don't be a "burden," don't move outside of the systems of oppression. This is externally enforced through punishment, and often works to divide and conquer us while presenting the illusion of safety and independence (you're “responsible” for pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps). Systems that can only be maintained through police/violence are inherently anti-life and unsustainable, so this form of responsibility is a burden and a diversion from the path to joy.
Purpose may indeed be a better term to describe responsibility as I see it. It could also be 'purpose' as the motivation, 'responsibility' as the action. Deepa Iyer has developed a handy visualisation of different types of activists, and all are needed to form a comprehensive web of support and drive towards the central goals of Equity, Liberation, Justice, and Solidarity. A person may take a single role or a few roles, a person's role(s) may change over time, and there is a role for everyone: https://thewellnessalmanac.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/screen-shot-2021-02-03-at-1.24.38-pm.png
My perspective is that we do owe healing and liberatory work to ourselves, as part of a collection of responsibilities (ancestral) to care for ourselves and work towards being the best/truest version of ourselves. However, we don't all owe ourselves the same work, and these are not responsibilities that can be defined externally or forced on a person. This is also different from taking responsibility - we are not the cause of our colonialism-induced traumas. I can only define and fulfil my own purpose and responsibilities. Likewise, I can not determine whether another person's healing work is effective for them, or whether they are the best version of themselves.
Anyone can opt out, but there will be consequences, same as if someone opts out of eating healthy / exercising, or learning new things, or maintaining healthy relationships. At the same time, an action that may look to me like opting out might be necessary for a particular person at a difficult time in their life. If I'm judging someone else's work, that often means I'm not doing my own work (with exceptions for constructive critique of leadership). Privilege and access impact the scope and qualities of our responsibility. My perspective that we owe healing and liberatory work to ourselves is about recognising that no one else can do this work for us, and our need for these things is pervasive in a world shaped by colonialism.
Maybe our key difference in perspective is whether we are in a position to opt in, or opt out, of healing work. I observe that we have consequences for not fulfilling purpose or responsibility, regardless of whether we accept this or not. We can feel like we're choosing not to engage, but that just means the form of engagement is avoidance. By the nature of being born into the world as it is today, we all have healing work to do. For me, the idea that we are already responsible (but can opt out with consequences) is part of normalising healing and liberation.
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After my court win, I created a personal holiday, Reparations Feast. This commemorates the day the cheque cleared. The celebration for this first year is in 3 parts.
On the same day, I ordered in Sichuan, my favourite comfort food. While preparing for my ALP workshop in 2023, I realised that my mum may have shared aspects of Chinese culture such as the food and Chinese New Year celebrations because her relationship to it was less complicated than with Black Jamaican culture. The ancestor I chose was my age at a time when a large influx of Chinese immigrants and refugees became Jamaican, in spite of anti-Chinese immigration laws. She may have been the first ancestor to build connections with the growing Chinese-Jamaican community.
The week after, (when friends had some notice to attend,) I hosted a zoom with Black found family in Calgary and Vancouver. The purpose of the court case was to protect my community, and so I felt a responsibility to share the award in the community, and I sent a portion of the cash to fund their feasts. We talked briefly about the court case, but for me that wasn't really the point. We talked about all the usual things, how we're doing, what has annoyed us lately, etc, before getting to the point, which was to ask them about doing a creative project together. They said yes.
The third part hasn't happened yet, taking my parents out for dinner. This will happen during our next family reunion. My mum has stated on a number of occasions that this is a requirement, and I can not opt out even if I wanted to.
Next year's Reparations Feast will be on a Saturday, and we're all looking forward to it.
